This new year I am trying to look back on how I felt at the beginning of each new year that I faced and failing. I cannot remember how I felt January 1, 2011 or January 1, 2010. I cannot remember if I had an epiphany that day or even the next. What I can remember of each year is my commitment and desire to seek God more, to be more in his word, and to be more involved in a real, authentic relationship. I had no idea that my relationship with God would be where it is today because of the circumstances and people that God has put in my life. 

This year, though I have not reached each and every resolution, I do know how I am feeling. 

I feel peace. Which is a blessing for me to write out because I have not been feeling peace in the holiday season. It's funny how rest and slowing down without work or school, etc, can be supremely out-ruled by my racing mind. It's a miracle that I feel peace while recollecting the events that have passed, even saying the word passed is hard to spit out. Right now, I am sitting down and realizing that I have no idea what God has prepared for me, and I do not want to know. Because God knows that if I did then I would try and do it my way.